Simple Golf Rules Fan Poetry

A poem courtesy of Dan Stolper (and inspired by Dr. Seuss)

I do not like green eggs and ham,
I do not like them, Sam I am.
 
I do not like the rules to vary
Simply at the whim of Tom, Dick or Harry.
 
I do not like the rules to change,
Simple because victims complain.
 
I do not like the rules to be dependent,
On the referee’s best judgment,
 
I do not like the rules to bleed,
the meaning out as I read.
 
Rules are meant to be precise,
Tight as a drum and very concise.
 
Each word must be given its due,
Lest we are left with mulligan stew.
 
Each rule should carry just one load
No need for each to be the mother lode.
 
No code can contemplate all situations
But less is more, in my estimation.
 
So, lets get out of the rules maze,
And adopt Code 2 by Morrissett and Hayes.